September has not been the best of months for me. In fact, until 3 years ago, Sept. 12th, I absolutely despised the month. It holds the two worst memories of my life, my car accident that took the life of one of my best friends and the loss of our twins, Greta and Gavin. If you have lived through any kind of tragedy, I'm sure you can relate to the way I feel during this month. I think of Monica and the twins daily, but as the anniversaries of their deaths approach, it seems as though I recall the incidents that led up to them more clearly. They are by far the worst two days of my life, and not only because I suffered a loss, but because of the loss that I feel like I put upon others. As thankful as I am today for the love and support through our most recent joy, I am so grateful that I had the same love and support during those difficult times. I read a saying today that said: I am strong because I know weakness. I am compassionate because I have experienced suffering. I am alive because I am a fighter. I am wise because I've been foolish. I can laugh because I've known sadness. I can love because I've known loss.
This month, I will celebrate my oldest daughter, Lilya's, 3rd birthday. I will not think any less of the events that took place on Sept. 17, 1994 and Sept. 4, 2007, but I am grateful that God has given me reason to celebrate the month of September. I am so glad that I am able to share my joys with those who love us, and thankful for those who understand my sadness.