Thursday, July 28, 2011

Did you really just ask that?

I knew when I began dating Tony Stewart, that I would be in for a lifetime of silly questions.  I can't tell you how many times that people have asked if I am married to THE Tony Stewart.  My thoughts, "Did you really just ask that?"  My answer is always, "He is THE only Tony Stewart that I really know."  I sometimes wonder why people ask that question when I'm 99% sure they know the answer.
Since I became pregnant with and have delivered the quads, I find myself thinking, "Did you really just ask that?" a lot more often.  I don't mind answering questions about my little ones, but sometimes I am shocked at just what exactly people (especially complete strangers) think is okay to ask.  When I think of questions that I might ask an expectant mom (of a singleton), I think of things like: When are you due?  Do you know if you're having a boy or girl?  Do you have names picked out?  I would never ask someone, "Where did you concieve? How did you get pregnant?"  Those seem a little personal to ask. Yet, I have been asked those same questions multiple times now.  I know that when I see someone with multiples, I often wonder if they struggled with infertility, but I also know that my curiosity doesn't give me the right to invade their privacy.  Infertility is an extremely difficult thing for women to struggle with.  When I found out that I could not get pregnant on my own, I felt like I was failing as a woman.  I would have given anything to be "normal".  I struggled with the thought of going through fertility treatments.  At times, I felt like if God wanted me to be a mom, He would not have given me this hurdle.  After much time praying, I came to realize that the oportunity wouldn't be there if it wasn't meant to be.  When people ask me if I did invetro or if I took fertility drugs, I feel that I am being judged...why else would they need to know the answer to that question.  I am not ashamed at how my children were concieved.  I am very grateful that I have been blessed with these miracles of life, and I don't mind sharing my story.  I do mind having my privacy invaded by such questions, only to be followed up with comments such as:  I don't know how you're going to do it.  You're crazy.  Wow, better you than me.  At least you didn't get (5, 6, 7, 8).  I would rather hear:  What an amazing family you have.  You have been very blessed.  My hope, if you are reading this, is that the next time you see a family with multiples, if you must comment, you say something about how blessed they are, and then be on your way.
As for MY Tony Stewart, you can check out the TGIF section of the Lafayette Journal & Courier coming out soon, and see the comparison to the OTHER Tony Stewart.  Once that article runs, maybe that will be one less silly question I have to answer these days.


Bri Richards said...

LOVE this Liz! xoxoxo You are so very very blessed!

-Brianne said...

Love this post Liz!! I don't know if I told you me and the hubs went to Purdue :)

We get all of those same questions and reactions, but I had to share that I can relate on the name thing too...

My father's name was John Kennedy...for real! Ahh the times I had to answer those questions ;)

Hugs to you awesome mama!!!